She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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