singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
