you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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