I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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