glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
