Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
