On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
