Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
