Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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