I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
