Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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