i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
