just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
