All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
