dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this just has baby written all over it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
