Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
