my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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