Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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