you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
