those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
