Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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