remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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