toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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