I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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