Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
