so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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