Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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