Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
