I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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