Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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