If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
