idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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