I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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