is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
