I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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