You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
