Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
