i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
