i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
