I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I touched a dick in church today
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
