lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
