it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
