He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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