what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize