I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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