I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
