i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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