They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
