I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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