just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
