Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
