It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
