at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
