This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
