Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
home. puking in laundry basket.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
