Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
