I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
