Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize