people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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