I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
