Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
