You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
