Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
nutella sex= disaster
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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