My room smells like vodka and shame
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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