I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
