I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's like iHOP with fire
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
