did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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