yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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