That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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