i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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