my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I smell stomach acid.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
