ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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