now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
