I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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