Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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